No, despite long-absent fitness posts in this blog, I have not gotten fat.  I’ve been eating like a normal person lately, which only means that I am not eating like a pig which I have been known to do.  Figuratively, not literally.

So no best weight loss pills, no fancy diets, and just one workout, but I’m feeling pretty spry and light on my feet.  I HAVE lost a bit of muscle though.  A few weeks out will do that to you.  Haven’t been playing basketball at all either, but I hope to change that tonight, weather permitting.  Last workout was very basketball oriented, so let’s see how my legs hold up later.

Oh, for all the kids who are going trick or treating, I advice you all to stay in.  Bad weather coming, they say.  Real bad.  Like, knocked out the power in my area for the whole morning.

I don’t watch the Kardashians or whatever it is their show is called, but I am a Lakers fanatic.  That’s how I found out the Lamar Odom is now married to Khloe Kardashian, the average looking sister.  I don’t really know why he married her since her sister is way hotter, but hey, love is love, as Stephon Marbury would say.

Speaking of love, have you guys heard about the prenup Khloe got?  $500,000 for every year they are married, $25k a month general expenses, their new house, $5k a month for beauty expenses, a new luxury car at the end of every lease term, and the kicker, LAKERS TICKETS FOR LIFE for Khloe Kardashian’s family.  Hell, for that kind of a deal, I’d marry Lamar!

Now, Khloe isn’t exactly struggling for money.  I doubt she’s up all night, comparing term life insurance quotes, balancing the books, paying the bills.  I don’t know why she wants that much money.  Let’s cue Kanye West’s Gold Digger, right now!  Holla!

So I lost my first basketball game since the “comeback”.  I don’t really know how it happened.  I mean, sure I haven’t played in a very long time, and I haven’t had any exercise for an even longer time, but I’m awesome.  I’m not supposed to lose.

I couldn’t even believe it afterwards.  I mean, my legs just left me.  There was no lift on my jump shots, I couldn’t keep up with my defensive assignment laterally, and I just got burned.  Maybe I should hang up my Nikes and just move to Texas and be a Plano dentist.  I’d probably be more successful doing that.  I can’t get over the fact that I lost!

That’s it.  Time to get back in balling shape.  This McMuffin I’m eating now will be the last!

I am what you would call a party person.  I think alcohol is something to be used as an antiseptic in a pinch.  I think a party is a group of characters in a role playing game.  I do not have an extensive knowledge of los cabos hotels, bars, and clubs.

And I like it that way.  I seriously think my hobbies are pretty awesome.  I love playing basketball (which unfortunately, I have not done in a long while) and lifting weights (which I have not done in an even longer while).  I love to eat.  I don’t get how people can choose to yell over loud music while hooking up with a stranger who might possibly have STDs over going off for 20 points then stuffing themselves silly with a 16oz steak.  It just doesn’t make sense to me.

I have never been particularly fond of cars unlike most guys my age.  I just don’t get what the big deal is.  I mean, sure, I appreciate the wonders of modern technology in a powerful engine as much as the next person, but after that, what else is there?  I’m not going to race down the road like a maniac.  That’s just not my thing.

My pet peeve though?  It’s when people pimp out their cars.  It just makes the whole thing look cheap.  News flash, the chrome accessories don’t make the car look any better, at all.  I wonder what these people are thinking.  Seriously.  They’re ruining a perfectly good car.

Sometimes I look at old people and I realize I have really got to bust a move on getting rich NOW.  In Hong Kong, it seems like the only jobs available for the old and not so financially secure are ones that involve cleaning public restrooms.  I don’t want that.  Hell no.

Now I’m not going to go looking for the best term life insurance quotes, but I AM going to put a little more back in my business.  Seriously.  I am not going to work for some other guy unless it’s going to be extremely profitable, like offer I can’t refuse profitable.  Until then, nose to the grindstone.

My internet has got to be the slowest one in the country.  I swear.  I have been stuck at 99.4% on the Lakers-Mavericks game I’m downloading for weeks now, and it doesn’t look like I am ever going to get to see my top two favorite NBA players go at it.  I just want my download to finish, transfer it to my flash drive and convert it for viewing on my iPhone.

Please, please internet gods.  Just .6% left.  Don’t let me down.  I’m a pretty consistent worshipper of the internets!

I know it’s a far cry from the image “BlogSpartan” must convey, but I am seriously getting a little round.  I guess it’s not so bad, being that it IS the season to be festively plump, but I swear, I’ve got to start losing a little of this pre-holiday weight to make room for the holiday weight I plan to put on.  Just kidding, for all those considered.  Yeah, I’m talking to you haha.

I’m serious about losing weight though.  If I have to take the top weight loss pills out there, or have my stomach stapled, I’ll do it!  Just kidding, I’ll probably just gym religiously for a couple of weeks and I’ll be fine.  My body is awesome that way.  Right now though, I have more chins than the capital of China.

My mom wants to makeover the house and I guess I get it.  The place is pretty old, and they didn’t really bother too much with the interior design aspect of the house.  That’s pretty much the old-school way.  It’s got walls and a roof, and the folks are happy.

But now the times are a changing.  My mom wants Hansgrohe faucets, stuff from Dimensione, the works.  Personally, I see it all as unnecessary expense, but hey, if that’s what makes her happy, then she should go for it.  I’m behind her all the way.  But of course it’s easy to say that since I’m not paying for anything.

A few days ago, because I was blessed to suddenly wake up and find that my cable service had adopted BTV, the basketball TV channel, I came to the realization that all NBA players, or even prospects, would kick my ass.  I have absolutely no chance, not even against those with unguaranteed contracts.

But hey, come on.  These guys are handled by professionals.  They’re examined on an exam table by doctors before they get on the court.  And then they are trained by physical therapists who make sure they have all their muscles firing, then they have all these shooting coaches, defensive coaches, etc.  So these ridiculously athletic guys are further trained and developed by people who make a living doing just that.

Yeah, I’m justifying not being the greatest baller ever.